Eurovision 2018 song reviews (part 5) - Croatia, Cyprus, Finland, Malta, Montenegro, Poland

THREE WEEKS TO GO! It's all getting very exciting for a Eurovision-obsessive like me, so much so that I forgot to post this update last week (oops!).

Croatia - Franka - "Crazy"
Semi final: 1
My score: 8/10
Chances of qualifying: 4/10
Can it make the top 10? No.
Can it win? Nope.

When following the roll-out of Eurovision entries at the start of the year, it is important not to get one's hopes up about songs based solely on the artist. When a participating artist is announced, I always make the mistake of diving into their back catalogue and then expecting them to send their best to the contest...which rarely happens. This is what happened with Croatia's Franka. Prior to her entry being released, I expected a top 10 contender.

Although I enjoyed Crazy upon initial listen, I was still disappointed at how uncompetitive it is. The production is strong and the hook is memorable...but the chorus lacks impact and doesn't have the 'oomph' that a successful Eurovision song requires. The video is brilliant and lends itself well excellent staging...but she's basically confirmed that the staging will be minimal in Lisbon. My hopes are no longer high for this one...especially since it's in semi final 1.

Cyprus - Eleni Foureira - "Fuego"
Semi final: 1
My score: 8.5/10
Chances of qualifying: 8/10
Can it make the top 10? Maybe.
Can it win? No, I don't think so.

From a slightly disappointing internal selection...to an internal selection that managed to meet my expectations, and then some. It's difficult to be unbiased when judging my motherland's entry, but this  is the first time a Cypriot entry has got me excited since 2012, so you bet I'm gonna stan. Even though Eleni isn't Cypriot, I am delighted that she's finally getting the chance to compete after being snubbed by the Greek broadcaster for years. She's ours now and she's bringing an ethno-bop with a distinct Cypriot flavour - I couldn't be happier. 

She may not be Whitney in the recording booth, but she knows how to perform. With her team going all-out on the visuals (with the help of some not-so-subtle product placement), I have high hopes for how this is gonna look on stage. It's closing semi final 1 in what is a producer-curated line-up, so they clearly have high hopes for this too. All going well, this could be Cyprus' best result in years.

Finland - Saara Aalto - "Monsters"
Semi final: 1
My score: 7.5/10
Chances of qualifying: 6.5/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes, with the right staging.
Can it win? No.

I may be hopeful about Eleni's staging...but that same optimism cannot be said for Finland's Saara Aalto. As much as I enjoy Saara's unapologetically grand and queer approach to performing, it can veer dangerously into tacky territory, which reduces the quality of the song itself. 'Monsters', is a well-produced and catchy dance-pop song, but the staging from UMK made it come off far cheaper than it actually is...which is an issue for a contemporary Eurovision entry. 

As the contest moves away from 'trashy' entries and into a more 'credible' phase, Saara needs to make the leap with her staging or else this may end up not qualifying. Thankfully, she recently announced that the original staging concept has been scrapped and she will be doing something that 'has never been done on the Eurovision stage before'. As someone who isn't really a fan of Brian Friedman's recent work...I'm just gonna try and keep an open mind. 

Malta - Christabelle - "Taboo"
Semi final: 2
My score: 6.5/10
Chances of qualifying: 5/10
Can it make the top 10? No.

Can it win? No.

When staging IS done right, it can really elevate a mediocre song, as is the case for Christabelle's 'Taboo'. Don't get me wrong, this has plenty going for it - the production in the verses is excellent, the song is well-sung and it has an excellent message about mental health. Unfortunately, the message is lost in a sea of cliches and tropes. Also, the use of dubstep makes the production feel dated; the song needed a complete overhaul, but it only got a slight revamp. 

This is essentially a banger-in-waiting, which simply isn't enough to score well at Eurovision. The staging elevated this considerably at its national final, so perhaps it can do the same in Lisbon? Regardless, Christabelle has been making waves in Maltese politics as well as in the UK with her mental health awareness campaign, which is ultimately more important than how well this does in Lisbon anyway. 

Montenegro - Vanja Radovanović - "Inje"

Semi final: 2
My score: 5.5/10
Chances of qualifying: 5/10
Can it make the top 10? No,

Can it win? No.

A very prominent trend in ESC 2018 has been the increase in the use of native language and instrumentation, which no doubt is a reaction to Salvador Sobral's 'credible' win last year. You even had countries like Serbia, Greece and Slovenia insisting that entries had to be sang in their native languages for the sake of authenticity. Montenegro also followed suit, reverting back to the once-popular 'Balkan Ballad' genre that was notably absent from last year's contest.

As a huge fan of the 2012 contest, I am certainly not against ethnic ballads (heck, Greece's song is my favourite song of this year *spoiler*), but this one isn't quite captivating me. Admittedly, it has grown on me since its release and I've come to really love parts of it (especially the final note). Whether this is powerful enough to garner the support it needs to qualify, I'm not convinced...

Poland - Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - "Light Me Up"

Semi final: 2
My score: 6/10
Chances of qualifying: 8/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes :/

Can it win? No.

From a 'credible' and emotive native language ballad to perhaps THE most generic and disposable entry of the year; we close this update with Poland's 'Light Me Up'. Although many countries have decided to go back to their roots with their entries, Poland clearly didn't get the memo. This has not one ounce of originality or distinctiveness to it, to the point where it is alarmingly familiar. That's said, it's a perfectly competent EDM banger that could do fairly well in Europe after the contest. 

As negative as I sound, I like the hook and enjoy the familiarity of the drop. I have no doubt that this will qualify and I'm not gonna rule out a top 10 finish based on how universally palatable this will be. The potential fork in the road could be Lukas' vocals, which were APPALLING on the night of the national final. I don't care if it's an EDM song; it's not technically challenging enough to justify such an off-key vocal. 

Updated ranking:

Semi 1 (by chances of qualification)

1. Israel - Netta - "Toy" - 9.5

2. Czech Republic - Mikolas Josef - "Lie To Me" - 8

3. Estonia - Elina Nechayeva - "La Forza" - 8

4. Cyprus - Eleni Foureira - "Fuego" - 8

5. Austria - Cesár Sampson - "Nobody but You"

6. Belgium - SENNEK - "A Matter of Time" - 8

7. Bulgaria - EQUINOX - "Bones" - 7.5

8. Armenia - Sevak Khanagyan - "Qami" - 7

9. Finland - Saara Aalto - "Monsters" - 6.5

10. Azerbaijan - Aisel - "X My Heart" - 6

11. Lithuania - Ieva Zasimauskaitė - "When We're Old"

12. Belarus - Alekseev - "Forever" - 4.5

13. Albania - Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall" - 4.5

14. Croatia - Franka - "Crazy" - 4

15. Iceland - Ari Ólafsson - "Our Choice" - 2

Semi 2 (by chances of qualification)

1. Norway - Alexander Rybak - "That's How You Write A Song" - 9

2. Denmark - Rasmussen - "Higher Ground" - 9

3. The Netherlands - Waylon - "Outlaw In 'Em" - 9

4. Australia - Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love" - 8

5. Poland - Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - "Light Me Up"

6. Russia - Julia Samoylova - "I Won't Break" - 8

7. Moldova - DoReDos - "My Lucky Day" - 7.5

8. Hungary - AWS - "Viszlát nyár" - 7

9. Romania - The Humans - "Goodbye" - 6

10. Latvia - Laura Rizzotto - "Funny Girl" - 5.5

11. Montenegro - Vanja Radovanović - "Inje"

12. Malta - Christabelle - "Taboo" - 5

13. Georgia - Iriao - "For You" - 5

14. Serbia - Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - "Nova Deca" - 5

15. San Marino - Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - "Who We Are" - 1

Overall ranking so far (by personal score - ties broken by preference)

1. Israel - Netta - "Toy" - 9.5

2. Estonia - Elina Nechayeva - "La Forza" - 9

3. Belgium - SENNEK - "A Matter of Time" - 9

4. Denmark - Rasmussen - "Higher Ground" - 8.5

5. Austria - Cesár Sampson - "Nobody but You" - 8.5

6. Cyprus - Eleni Foureira - "Fuego" - 8.5

7. Bulgaria - EQUINOX - "Bones" - 8

8. Croatia - Franka - "Crazy" - 8

9. Serbia - Sanja Ilić & Balkanika - "Nova Deca" - 8

10. Moldova - DoReDos - "My Lucky Day" - 8

11. Australia - Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love" - 7.5

12. Azerbaijan - Aisel - "X My Heart" - 7.5

13. Finland - Saara Aalto - "Monsters" 7.5

14. Armenia - Sevak Khanagyan - "Qami" - 7.5

15. Russia - Julia Samoylova - "I Won't Break" - 7.5

16. Georgia - Iriao - "For You" - 7.5

17. Hungary - AWS - "Viszlát nyár" - 7.5

18. Albania - Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall" - 7.5

19. Latvia - Laura Rizzotto - "Funny Girl" - 7

20. Czech Republic - Mikolas Josef - "Lie To Me" - 7

21. Malta - Christabelle - "Taboo" - 7

22. Lithuania - Ieva Zasimauskaitė - "When We're Old" - 6

23. Poland - Gromee feat. Lukas Meijer - "Light Me Up" - 6

24. The Netherlands - Waylon - "Outlaw In 'Em" - 6

25. Belarus - Alekseev - "Forever" - 6

26. Montenegro - Vanja Radovanović - "Inje" - 5.5

27. San Marino - Jessika feat. Jenifer Brening - "Who We Are" - 5

28. Romania - The Humans - "Goodbye" - 4

29. Norway - Alexander Rybak - "That's How You Write A Song" - 3

30. Iceland - Ari Ólafsson - "Our Choice" - 3