Eurovision 2018 song reviews (part 2) - Belgium, Bulgaria, Czech Republic, The Netherlands, Norway, Romania.

As promised, here is part 2 of my Eurovision reviews, which conveniently features some of my favourite AND least favourite entries of the year, so expect gushing and ranting in equal measure...because I have some feelings...

Belgium - SENNEK - "A Matter of Time"
Semi final: 1
My score: 9/10
Chances of qualifying: 8/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes.
Can it win? Yes

One of my most anticipated internally-selected entries; Belgium have yet again delivered pure QUALITY with their entry - a smooth, warm and smokey Bond theme-esque mid-tempo with the visuals to match. To top it all off, Laura Groeseneken is not only an excellent vocalists, but a downright lovely person AND she works for IKEA - legends only.

Belgium really haven't put a foot wrong for me since 2015, where Loic Nottet marked the start of a near-flawless run of top 10 finishes, including a 4th-place finish with the incredible 'City Lights' last year. Can they continue this trend? I hope so, but this is a much riskier entry then what they usually send and success will be highly depend how they stage it...

Bulgaria - EQUINOX - "Bones"
Semi final: 1
My score: 8/10
Chances of qualifying: 7.5/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes, maybe.
Can it win? I really don't think so.

Speaking of countries with a lot of hype surrounding them, we move to Bulgaria, who were #1 in the odds before their song even dropped. Why, you might ask? Well they've finished in the top 5 for the past two consecutive years, including the transcendent BOP that is If Love Was A Crime by Poli Genova. 

Unlike said entry, 'Bones' didn't grab me straight away. At first I was put off by the pretentiousness of the Bulgarian delegation's pretentious-ass promo strategy - everything from the name 'EQUINOX' to their official twitter referring to the act as not a band, but a 'common framework.' BS aside, this song packs quite the punch,  especially in the production department. 

My concern with this entry is that it could quite easily be a total car crash. With 5 vocalists and not a whole lot of actual harmonies, this could really end up falling flat, both vocally and visually. My hope is that they put Zhana Bergendorff and her wonderful voice front and centre, but let's see...

Czech Republic - Mikolas Josef - "Lie To Me"
Semi final: 1
My score: 7/10
Chances of qualifying: 8/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes.
Can it win? I hope not.

One of the fan favourites straight out of the gate, the hype surrounding this track has barely died down since January, which is pretty impressive. What makes it more impressive is that this is an entry from the Czech Republic, who have famously struggled with the televote in the past - and no, I'm still not over them getting zero from the televote back in 2016 with the glorious 'I Stand'.

In all honesty, I think the only reason why this is so popular is the surprise factor of the Czech Republic sending a contemporary pop song sung by a young, charismatic male artist. This is a bit white-boy-trying-to-be-a-Jason-Derulo for my taste but I still bop on occasion...

The Netherlands - Waylon - "Outlaw In 'Em"
Semi final: 2
My score: 6/10
Chances of qualifying: 9/10
Can it make the top 10? Yes.
Can it win? Nah.

Despite finding this incredibly grating on first listen (for several reasons), I've come to appreciate this entry a lot more recently - albeit just for the fact that it contributes to this year's impressive genre diversity. On top of that, this has a great melody and an instantly recognisable hook that will get the public on side.

My issue(s)? Well, aside from the fact that Waylon seems far more interested in plugging his album than the contest itself, I find this ever-so-slightly tacky in its delivery. Of course, I'm not a fan of country music at the best of times so this was never gonna light my fire. There's also something quite...I dunno...'embracing dad' about his whole Nashville cosplay act? Regardless of my opinion, I can see this reaching the left-hand-side of the leaderboard on Saturday night, although I'd rather it didn't...

Norway - Alexander Rybak - "That's How You Write A Song"
Semi final: 2
My score: 3/10
Chances of qualifying: 9/10 :/
Can it make the top 10? Yes. :/
Can it win? Yes, this screams 'accidental winner' :/

Urgh...this. I'm against the idea of former winners returning to the Eurovision in general (unless you're Germany's Lena, that is), but ESPECIALLY when they come back with a turd of a song - like this. Alexander Rybak's 'Fairytale', despite having the largest statistical victory in the history of the contest, is actually a pretty polarising winner. As someone who wasn't too keen on the song to begin with (which won back in 2009 - the first Eurovision I remember watching in full), the fact that he has decided to return leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. 

Embarrassingly simplistic, jarring, cheap, annoying...and almost cynical in how basic and primitive it all is...I have no doubt this will be lapped up by the public. I almost respect how calculated this all is. And before you think the juries can kill this, remember that the sheer power of his name, which is known even by passing Eurovision fans, will guarantee it some jury points too. Depressing, huh? 

Romania - The Humans - "Goodbye"
Semi final: 2
My score: 4/10
Chances of qualifying: 6/10
Can it make the top 10? No.
Can it win? God no.

From one of the few entries this year that I actively dislike to another, we move to Romania's mess of a song. If I had to describe this in a word, it would be FRUMPY - the band is frumpy, 'The Humans' is perhaps the frumpiest band name I've ever seen, the outfit change in the national final performance was frumpy and, yes, the song itself is frumpy. 

To expand my vocabulary ever-so-slightly - this is a dated, tacky, dull mess. It's always a rough time when the 6th best song in the national final (at best) ends up winning, but the fact that it won the televote is even more frustrating. Imagine picking up the phone and voting for a song as useless as this? Cannot relate, as won't millions of viewers during semi final 2 (I hope). Although, since Romania has both a strong diaspora and a 100% qualification record, I'm worried this will sneak through to the final despite being objectively bland.

To end on a positive, she has a lovely voice. So that's something.

Until next week, here's a recap of the numbers so far:

Semi 1 (by chances of qualification)
*1. Czech Republic - Mikolas Josef - "Lie To Me" - 8

*1. Belgium - SENNEK - "A Matter of Time" - 8

3. Bulgaria - EQUINOX - "Bones" - 7.5

4. Azerbaijan - Aisel - "X My Heart" - 6
5. Albania - Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall" - 4.5
6. Belarus - Alekseev - "Forever" - 4.5

Semi 2 (by chances of qualification)
1. Norway - Alexander Rybak - "That's How You Write A Song"

*2. Denmark - Rasmussen - "Higher Ground" - 9
*2. The Netherlands - Waylon - "Outlaw In 'Em" - 9
4. Australia - Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love" - 8
5. Moldova - DoReDos - "My Lucky Day" - 7.5
6. Romania - The Humans - "Goodbye" - 6

Overall ranking so far (by personal score)

1. Belgium - SENNEK - "A Matter of Time" - 9

2. Denmark - Rasmussen - "Higher Ground" - 8.5
3. Bulgaria - EQUINOX - "Bones" - 8
4. Moldova - DoReDos - "My Lucky Day" - 8
5. Australia - Jessica Mauboy - "We Got Love" - 7.5
6. Azerbaijan - Aisel - "X My Heart" - 7.5
7. Albania - Eugent Bushpepa - "Mall" - 7

8. Czech Republic - Mikolas Josef - "Lie To Me" - 7
9. The Netherlands - Waylon - "Outlaw In 'Em" - 6
10. Belarus - Alekseev - "Forever" - 6

11. Romania - The Humans - "Goodbye" - 4
12. Norway - Alexander Rybak - "That's How You Write A Song" - 3

See the rest of my ESC 2018 reviews:

Part 1 - Albania, Azerbaijan, Belarus, Australia, Denmark, Moldova.

Part 3 - Estonia, Iceland, Israel, Russia, San Marino, Serbia.

Part 4 - Lithuania, Armenia, Austria, Georgia, Hungary, Latvia.

Part 5 - Croatia, Cyprus, Finland, Malta, Montenegro, Poland.
Part 6 - Greece, Ireland, FYR Macedonia, Switzerland, Slovenia, Sweden, Ukraine

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